Better Than Brandy
by ImGoingToSleep
Summary: There's something special about fixing broken people. Healing them. Is that why she can't get her out of her mind? Not sure if the rating is right, mild language goes on. I would like to make it clear, it WILL contain a lesbian relationship. So don't read if you don't agree.
1. Apology

**So, this marks the start of me writing again. A very good friend of mine set me this challenge, of seeing what I can do with Jack and Karin. Orignally a one-shot, this has developed into more. It's set during the events of Mass Effect 2.**

**Not sure what else to say, so... enjoy?**

* * *

_Ants. Crawling about, clueless. They were all ants, unaware of the danger that was approaching. Unaware that, if only she just reaches out, she can crush them. She purrs, licking her lips._

_Coiled in a crouch, with fingertips lightly caressing her weapon, she bounces slightly on the balls of her feet and steals a glance at Shepard. His body is that pressed up against the Cheerleader's, they are practically fucking. Whatever._

_The nod comes but she is already gone. Golden sun glaring, kaleidoscope of gunfire blazing, she tears the ants apart. Except they aren't so tiny now. A patchwork of armour, blanketing the mess of bodies at her feet, remind her that the ants are nothing more than mercs. Scum._

_Heat spreads in the pit of her stomach, burning the blood in her veins, flowing from her brain to the apex of her legs. She doesn't hear the turian, so focused is she on her next target. He jerks her out of the way of a spray of fire, cursing at her to stay in cover._

_Fuck that._

_Leaping over a crate, she advances calmly towards a pairs of mercs struggling to reload. Fucking amateurs. A blast from her gun goes through one man's head; a pulse of crackling biotics spears the second. A line of blood lashes across her face. She licks her lips. Only one target remains. Holding them up in the air, she places the gun under his chin before looking into his face._

_Shit... he's just a kid._

_She falters._

_The shot barely registers in time. It catches her side. His youth, his fear, makes it mostly miss. Still, it gouges along her ink, biting into her flesh. Staggering, she falls, her head connecting with something metal. The clang resonates in her mind, along with some vague and familiar voice._

_A blink and a face comes into focus. Shepard. Talking about jokes and a ship, maybe. Stupid time to be talking about jokes. Voices fade. Darkness consumes her._

* * *

Karin laid her forehead against the Normandy's hull. Gentle vibrations burrowed into the tension gathered there, smoothing out the knots of tension that was spreading throughout her body along with a mist of fatigue. She sighed, a flicker of a smile on her lips, and she allowed the datapad to slip from her fingers. It landed on the table with a clutter she ignored. The pulses, beating from the heart of the ship, were better than a caress from any lover.

A frown settled on her face as she chastised herself for the stray thought. Youth was the time of those rose tinted days, languorously filled with wounded marines and tortured souls, that gave way to romantic flights of fancy. Besides, there was no more time to even fantasise anymore. Not with the Reapers dogging their heels.

Fatigue wrestled with her, pulling loose strands of her mind away into tangents she didn't need. The reports needed to get done. She needed to make sure that they were all able to follow Shepard into the flames of Hell at a moment's notice. Rubbing her eyes, she scooped up the datapad again and dropped into her chair, trying to ignore the bottle of brandy flirting with the edge of her vision.

"Doc!" jumping to her feet, Karin was met by the sight of Garrus rushing in, body slumped over his shoulder. Several drops of blood splattered on the floor as he stood in the doorway. Directing him to one of the beds, she grabbed a few medigels and snapped on some gloves before taking in who it was.

"What happened?" She asked to no one in particular, in the most clinical voice she could manage. Although Jack was clearly unconscious, she could wake up at any moment. Not a prospect that thrilled her.

"She blew our damn cover, that's what." they turned to face an image of the fuming Cerberus officer leaning in the doorway, giving a scowl of disgust that seemed not to tamper with the engineered beauty of her face "Nearly got us all killed!"

"It's Jack, Miranda, what do you expect? There's nothing you can do to change her." Garrus grumbled, hand moving to rub the scarred side of his face as she had the habit of doing when tired. Karin tried to block out the bickering and leaned in closer to inspect the scorches on her patient's side. But their voices began to irritate her.

"That's enough!" both turned to look at her, sheepishly looks on their faces, as though they'd forgotten she was there "If you're going to be petty children and squabble over this, then you can go elsewhere."

Karin turned back, undoing a medigel while listening to the footsteps behind her retreat quietly. As she heard the door close, she let out a breath and chewed on her lower lip. Her attention fully focused on the subject in front of her.

The scorch marks had stopped bleeding. A few applications of a strong brand of medigel would suffice to make the wound heal easily with little scarring. No, the woman had suffered enough of those. She ran her eyes along the tapestry of inked skin, a tale of a torrid life shuddering with the slow rise and fall of her chest. Lightly pressing her fingertips under Jack's chin, Karin rested her palm on her side of her head to confirm a slight wound that she surmised was nothing big to worry about.

Jack's eyes snapped open. The brown orbs stared at her for a second, pulsing into clarity as she was hurled back into the air. A field of hazy purple pounded against her chest, squeezing the breath out of her lungs, her ribs creaking in a worrying manner. Her vision begun to turn white as it felt like hands were groping at her throat, thumbs pushing hard into her windpipe.

She stumbled off the bed, crashing into the one next to it. Rage or concussion meant that the biotic was disorientated, Karin wasn't sure of which. Not that the answer would help her. Jack couldn't see her; she only saw a threat. Trying to cry out, the force at her neck crushed tighter. It was no good.

"Jack!" ever the hero, Commander Shepard burst in, pistol trained on the other woman currently cradling her head in her hands, trying to clear it. Instantly, her vision cleared, the pressure in her chest evaporating. A tear of relief escaped and she went immediately to clear it away, but the biotics still held her firmly in place. Jack trained a sneer in her direction.

"Jack, stand down." the Commander repeated, softer this time, his gun lowered but ready as he stalked carefully forward. If she were not strung in midair, Karin would have found this interesting: two predators unsure if the other would be easy prey. Then, as though he had decided Jack was no more a threat than a timid forest creature on the edge of bolting, Shepard stretched out his arm very slowly and wrapped his large hand around her wrist.

Karin hit the floor in a crumpled heap. She hurriedly swiped away the tear track down her cheek and took a deep breath in order to regain her composure. A twinge in her side nearly winded her but she got to her feet regardless.

"Thank you, Commander." It pleased her to find she could keep her voice calm, though her heart rapped dangerously hard in her chest. She walked over to the medigel which she'd dropped earlier, replacing the lid, gripping it tightly.

"As long as you're alright, doc." He said pointedly, casting a furious eye at the woman attempting to skulk backwards out of the room. She froze in her place, placing her hands up in a reluctant show of submission. Karin brought her gaze down to her side. It was bleeding weakly. Without thinking, she stepped forwards, ready to administer the medigel. The move sent Jack storming out.

"Are you sure you're okay?" the genuine concern in the man's voice made her turn, a smile on her lips faltering at his pointed look. Karin returned to her desk, sinking into her chair and squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds before swivelling to face him again.

"Yes, Commander, I will be fine." she held out the medigel, only realising how tight she'd been gripping it as her fingers cramped stiffly "Please try to make Jack apply this, otherwise she will have to come see me again. The paperwork I have to do is quite enough excitement for me."

"I'm sorry-"

"Commander. I have had difficult patients before. It is nothing I have not encountered before." She now returned his pointed look, her heart finally calming under the force of her sheer determination not to betray anything in front of the man. It was mostly true anyway. Jack would fit in with the PTSD soldiers she had cared for in the past. The thought made her stomach squirm queerly but she dismissed it.

"If you're sure. I better go." Placing a hand on her shoulder, he bade her goodnight and assured her that he'd be around if she needed him. Karin merely nodded in response, not trusting herself to speak. She refused to let the events get to her. Anyway, she had those reports to finish. Pouring herself a large brandy, she picked up a datapad, doing her best to ignore the shaking in her hand.

* * *

Karin finally had to admit defeat. Unscrewing the brandy, she took her last gulp of the evening. The brandy could easily be finished, the reports could not. Sleep was seducing her, prising her thoughts away from the task at hand. The datapad grew heavy, along with her eyelids. It no longer made sense, along with where her mind was trying to take her.

It showed her a snapshot of an unmistakeable body. Odd, that her mind should remember the contours of Jack's frame but bring her face into absolute clarity. It was intriguing to see her with the mask of a soldier, although she'd refute that anything about her attitude was hidden. Her favourite attire always reflected as much.

The horrors that her marines had witnessed, and all of her patients inevitably became _her_ soldiers, scarred them irreparably. How many hours had she spent tending to the strongest of 'grunts', pretending not to see the fear in their eyes, the tears brimming just behind them? It was one of the hardest things to do, ignoring them in their grief, as they sure as hell wouldn't appreciate any of her pity.

But Jack... her horrors must have started from the moment her memories began. Although she would probably kill her for it, an immense wave of pity flowed unbidden from her. What effort it would take to bring those walls down, to see the tears simmering in her eyes. The depths of her rage couldn't be endless. She could be helped.

Karin shook away the clouds in her head, biting her lip to hold back a rebuke. She had Joker to look after, that was why she was here, and he was enough of a handful. Now was not the time to even think of taking on some sort of project that would surely double her chances of not coming out of this mission alive. She stood, sweeping an orderly glance around the room. Everything was in its rightful place. Good.

Fatigue bowed her head as she shuffled from the door, meaning Karin didn't notice the person stood outside until it was too late. Shoulders clashed, and a familiar grunt of pain made her freeze. She shifted slightly, rubbing her shoulder uneasily, and dared to look up at who she guessed it to be. Jack stood before her, as if summoned by her thoughts. Blushing a little at the recollection, she retreated a few steps.

"Ah shit, it's you." The veil of contempt on the other woman's face struck something inside her, but she swallowed it down and armed herself with a practised quirk of her brow.

"A doctor, in a medbay? Imagine." Feeding from the strength of the biotic, she was able to regain her usual composure. Even if the scowl on Jack's face made her look like she was trying to bore a hole in her head.

"Look, shut it. I have to say something." Conflict pulled down her mask temporarily. A flicker of pain and Jack's hand went straight to her side. She had wrapped her own bandage around her wounds. Without speaking, Karin turned back into the medbay and headed for a bed, crossing her arms and looking sternly at the woman creeping in behind her.

"Sit." The tone she used was one she reserved for the most fearsome of drill sergeants, or patients that weren't used to being ordered around. To being vulnerable. Still, she was surprised when Jack complied, perching on the edge. Peeling off the bandage, she had to admit she had made a good job of it. Cool medigel on the tips of her fingers, Karin rubbed over the shallow wounds gingerly.

"I'm sorry." Jack turned her head away, focusing intently on the floor and playing with a strap on her trousers. She sounded pained. Not the sharp intake of breath she made when Karin covered the gouges with a fresh bandage. But truly conflicted.

"Pardon?" confused, she folded her arms and back away a few steps.

"Fuck." Jumping down from the bed, the tattooed woman grabbed her wrist "I said, I'm sorry."

Karin's eyes flicked down, storing another view of the biotic's slender frame, before looking up to meet intensely dark eyes staring her down. The fingers grasping her wrist were becoming painful, but she refused to give Jack the satisfaction of any reaction, of letting her know she was ensnared by her gaze. Bodies close, she couldn't help but appraise her physique. Not striking in a traditional sense, she was nonetheless quite memorable. She frowned, stopping that particular train of thought.

"Thank you, Jack." She found herself urging the words, reaching out to the younger woman despite herself.

"Yeah, well, Shepard's persuasive." Although she had guessed the Commander had had something to do with this, her stomach still fell with hearing it. Jack looked away, rubbing the back of her head whilst seemingly searching for some invisible threat.

"Indeed." Silence still beat between them, a second away from becoming awkward "Would you like a drink? I have a bottle open, if you would like-"

"Shit, I ain't here to play friends, alright? Especially on this goddamn ship." Jack finally released her wrist, brushing the pads of her fingers over Karin's knuckles as she did so. Her breath hitched and she snatched her hand away quickly, as if burned. A smirk spread over the biotic's face, but only to hide when her eyes bulged only fleetingly at the contact.

Without any more conversation, Jack left. The sound of the elevator followed promptly afterwards, and Karin released a breath. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she decided it was time for bed before anything else could pop into her mind. She was exhausted.

* * *

**So, that's the first chapter up. Would love some feedback, maybe suggestions on what directions to take it?**

_**~ Georgia.**_


	2. Afterlife

**I'm going to apologise for any mistakes right now. If I didn't put this up now, it wouldn't have gone up at all. Warning for language and maybe a little implied naughtiness?**

**Just in case it isn't clear, which it should be _really_, this will develop into something involving women having feelings. For each other. So, you have been warned.**

* * *

"Jeff, you need to take them. How many times do I have to tell you?" Karin ran fingers through her hair, chewing her lower lip slightly before throwing her hands up. She let out a slow breath and stepped over to the window, searching for nothing in particular. This dock was lifeless as most of the inhabitants of Omega preferred to give it a wide berth. Yet at any moment, Shepard would be back. And she would be needed. No doubt about it; her particular expertise was always needed whenever they had an excursion to this lawless place.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, mum!" squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head. Karin thought she would be used to Joker's juvenile stubbornness after their time serving together but, somehow, he had always that special knack for grating on her nerves. He shot her a roguish smile before looking down and letting it fade slightly. It was his way of both apologising and showing that he was not ready to admit that he relied on her. She doubted that he ever would. He hated being considered a burden, although no one ever thought of him in that way. Not even after one of his bragging sprees.

"Please Jeff, just remember to take them from now on." chuckling at his mock salute, she allowed the matter to drop. Karin walked back over to lean on the console to Joker's right and they moved on to talking of other things, her eye flicking to the window every now and then. As it always was whenever she visited him, the topic they eventually settled on was EDI. She endured in amused silence as he repeated an earlier rant to him, smiling at EDI's wavering sphere light up behind him, and nodded along patiently.

A jolt from the airlock made them both turn. Karin braced herself, getting to her feet so she could prepare to assess the damage, but not before placing the bottle of meds down pointedly on the arm of Joker's chair. The airlock opened. She barely reached the doorway when she had to jump back.

This time, she noticed Jack instantly.

Swirls of dark biotics crackled around her fists, snaking through her fingers and up her arms, pulsing at the ready. Her face screwed up in anger, curses fell like poison from her lips. Karin had spent the best part of her life in the Alliance, surrounded by the lowest and roughest of marines. But even she paled at the words flying from her. One of the Cerberus crew was too busy to look up from his datapad, getting flung to the ground with a rebounding crack. Her hip gave a twinge of sympathy.

"Jack! Get back here!" Shepard appeared from the doorway, shouting down the length of the room, his shoulders tensed. The woman simply swivelled around, upon entering the elevator, and calmly flipped him off. He groaned, rubbing the scars on his jaw. Miranda stood by his side for a moment, grasping his arm briefly, before sashaying down the aisle. More than a few stares were focused on her rear. Shepard and Joker included. Karin could not deny it, that woman had a fine...

"How was the mission, Commander?" she asked, clearing her throat loudly and vanquishing her previous thought. The man in question managed to at least look the slightest bit embarrassed; Joker merely gave a childish grin. Karin rolled her eyes, then took the chance to quickly search for any visible injuries. A stern frown settled on her face, but all she saw was a cut above his eyebrow. She'd have to look later though, as he was still caked in Omega's filth.

"Could have been better." Shepard rubbed the back of his neck, eyes misting over slightly as though he was trawling through his memories "I'd give Jack a wide berth for the moment. She's-"

"Yeah, 'cause she's normally so cuddly and full of rainbows" Joker quipped in, raising his hands up in submission when Karin shot him a glare. She couldn't catch herself, she'd instantly been put on the defensive by his remark, as true as it was. Even prior to her apology, Jack had been virtually invisible. The doctor supposed she just noticed it more now.

"Joker..." Shepard warned, to which the man in question just shrugged his shoulders "She's just slightly hurt."

"Hurt? Is it her side? Do I-" again, Karin's heart lurched and she couldn't help but to react. Her instincts (or was it emotions?) had taken her over so easily. The flush prickling at her cheek showed her embarrassment over letting her trained exterior crumble, even for the briefest of seconds.

"Doc, just leave it. I don't need any more excitement between the two of you." She felt like a child being chastised, but she knew the Commander didn't mean it in that way. It was just the authority which was ever pressing down harder upon his more youthful shoulders. He gave a nod, his verbal farewell lost in thoughts that was vying for her utmost attention.

Karin chewed on her lower lip, wringing her hands as she stood there awkwardly. Joker turned his chair back around to look at her, searching her face. It was if he was trying to read her mind. And was succeeding.

"You're doing down there, aren't you?" he smirked, mostly filled with worry but with the slightest hint of salaciousness. She squeezed her eyes shut and sighed. Karin hated this lecherous side of the man, as it turned him into a person he truly was not. Still, his comment made her cheeks prickle into a blush.

"I believe, as humans say it, it would be your funeral." EDI made her jump, as she always had the habit of forgetting she was there, but she swiftly covered it up. Not that anyone noticed, as Joker promptly started arguing with her. She gave a small chuckle, shaking her head as she left the room. The thought occurred to her that they would make an excellent couple, if only EDI were human.

Laughter died however when she neared the elevator. Fidgeting whilst waiting for it, Karin then paced around it as it sank. Her mouth was dry all of a sudden. Licking her lips, she took a great effort to relax her clenched fists and stand still against the wall. Tipping her head back, she allowed herself calming deep breaths, feeling the Normandy's pulse alongside her own.

Reaching the engineering deck, Karin glanced in both directions before stepping out. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, creeping to the top of the stairs. Gabby and Ken were bickering again. Another couple, she thought wryly to herself as she gripped the railing and peered down into the gloom. Everyone seemed to be paired up. Apart from her, that was.

Karin set her shoulders back and pushed away from the railing, frustration at her nerves growing. There was nothing for it. Plunging into the lion's den, she descended. The red ambiance washed over her, making her pause at the bottom. It played over her fingers, rippling over her palm. A clank made her look up, clenching her fist as she flinched.

She imagined that this is what a mouse saw the very instant before the very end. Jack's hawkish eyes rooted her to the spot, piercing danger right through her. Her teeth were bared, the crimson light spilling bloody shadows down her chin. It made her seem feral. Tattoos shifted in the dark, echoing monsters in the murk, as a hand reached out for her. Slowing down time to an excruciating pace, it splayed across her chest.

"Jack, stop..." her harshest voice came out as a mere whimper, a fact Karin cursed.

The air seemed to thicken around her body. Crushing inwards, a wave of deep biotics lifted her off her feet with a deceiving elegance, smoothing concealing a violence that should have been obvious. Vision flickered upwards, finding herself only inches for a metal pipe in the ceiling. Eyes squeezed tightly shut of their own accord and breathes deepened as they struggled to fight past the tension in her.

"Please..."

A heart beat passed. Confusion spread over her as she hung there, jolting her eyes back open. Jack was sat on her cot cradling her head, staring down at the mess of datapads pooling around her feet. Several of them looked cracked beyond repair.

"'Fuck you here for?" the convict grunted, refusing to look up as she swirled a tendril of biotics over bruised knuckles. Karin's stomach lurched. She barely managed to stay upright as she was released. Coughing to try conceal her embarrassment, she smooth down her jacket before facing Jack again. Words shakily came to her lips.

"I'm the Normandy's doctor. I came to check up on you." She dared walk a few steps close, halting and standing stone still when Jack looked up. She would have sworn on the Alliance that the eyes that glared at her were puffy and red, but wisdom advised her not to show she had seen "How is your side?"

"Fine." Karin gritted her teeth, temper massing on the ends of her nerves, and took the risk of sitting on the cot next to the tattooed woman. Not even a blink of an eye passed before Jack got to her feet, wrapping her arms around herself tightly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" wincing as she bit her lower lip hard, she partly regretted the outburst. But her body was alight with anger, the level of tolerance for stubbornness far exceeded for one day. Strength returned to her, along with the pride honed throughout her years of military service. One lone woman, crazed murderer she was, would not get the better of one who had seen so much loss and pain.

Karin found that she had got to her feet, body tensing in defence from the expected, violent retort. She was left confused when Jack merely sniffed, wiping the back of her hand over eyes and nose with an attractive vulnerability. The woman let her arms fall, fingers curled a split instant away from unconsciously becoming fists, and sank back down surprisingly close to her.

"What happened?" her voice was softer now, despite herself. A voice in the back of her mind nagged at her but she ignored it, relaxing her shoulders and resting her hands together in her lap. Yet her heart still pounded in her chest as she waited, stamping hope further in with every beat.

"Like you give a shit." The snap lacked any of the usual violence, loaded only from habit. Karin waited, not deigning to give any response, and affected the demeanour she always used when dealing with reluctant patients. Jack sighed and rubbed her face with her hands, trailing them both up over her shaved head.

"Those fucking Batarians!" Jack's eyes bulged as she spat the curse out, startling her as she tried to understand. Then Karin recalled the latest mission briefing, the reason why they had to visit this godforsaken cesspit. The Illusive Man had needed some Collector data recovered from some slavers buried away on Omega; the Commander had been only too happy to oblige. She nodded for the woman to continue.

"Shepard and the Cheerleader were eye fucking, so I had to slink off before I threw up. Found a locked door." a slither of biotics rose from Jack's palm as she gave a humourless chuckle "I _really_ hate locked doors."

"There was a girl. Young, just a little kid. She was..." the slither had morphed into a hard sphere that cast shadows over her face, lighting up a tear running freely down her cheek. Karin held in a breath and gambled with nudging her hand to cover the other woman's, which was gripping the edge of her cot with white knuckles. She didn't seem to notice "She was hardly covered, just wearing rags and filth. Wearing only the shame and pain."

"Jack..."

"It was me." the biotic looked at her, truly looked at her "All these years running, doing the shit I do, and... it was me."

And there she was. A terrified and abused child. Her tattoos mixed into a shattered mirror, shards carving out her volatile past. Karin licked her lips, lifting her hand up onto Jack's shoulder so her thumb could trace the outline of them. Her eyes focused on the biotic's throat as she swallowed, seemingly wrestling within her head before leaning into her touch. A hint of a smile played at the corners of her mouth as she did so.

"Hey, Jack!" Shepard lunged into view, the grin on his face fading into a frown as he saw caught sight of her sitting there "What's going on?"

Jack shoved away from her instantly and her trademark scowl surged back. Anger permeated from the convict, destroying any trace of the true person she'd glimpsed. Karin sighed. Her stomach twisted peculiarly as she rose to her feet and walked so she was level with Shepard.

"My job... Commander." the ice in her voice was evident, though she didn't aim to put it there. A stab of guilt was consumed by an unbidden swell of anger at his intrusion. It caught in her throat, startling her into relaxing her body, releasing a breath that had been trapped this whole time. Shaken, she wondered how much brandy she had left.

Harsh wrinkles on his worn face deepened, lines forged by the toll this mission was pressing on to him. They lightened as he made a decision, shaking his head to clear it. He flicked his gaze over to Jack, who had retreated into the darkest part of her room, keeping her back to them.

"Right. So, Jack, Afterlife?" Jack turned back, holding Karin's gaze for a second before nodding and looking away again. Shepard obviously deduced that was all he'd get. Clasping his hands, he snapped around and strode away. She hesitated, rubbing her neck lightly, before following after him.

"It always feels like I've escaped a very gruesome death whenever I leave Jack." more talking to himself than anything, Shepard gave her a rueful half smile while rubbing his eyes "So, how 'bout it, doc?"

"Commander?" she quirked a brow at him, simmering still but not so much that her curiosity was not piqued.

"We've all earned some shore leave. Join us in Afterlife?" Karin studied him, and that face that had somehow become the face of all humankind, to see if he was pulling her leg. Surely he couldn't be serious. She slowly shook her head "Fair enough, the invite's still there. I need to go see Grunt; Kelly said he's just about ready to rip a chunk out of my ship."

He nodded his goodbye and marched passed the elevator, bracing himself as he entered the room of the giant baby krogan. Karin leant back against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut. She was so tired. Tired of this mission, this unceasing burden she had placed upon herself. Chewing her lip, she summoned the elevator. Staring at the controls for what seemed like an age, she made a decision.

* * *

Afterlife thundered with life, juddering under her feet. Far different from the safe and familiar vibrations of the Normandy, the place oozed danger. Karin tried her best to gulp down such nonsense. Bringing herself up tall, she repeated in her mind that it was her nerves being foolishly giddy. Still, the sense of danger failed to fully disappear.

Walking further into the club, having to sluice her way through a group of sour-looking men, her eyes darted around in a search for crewmates. Karin sought out Joker especially. Being surrounded by alcohol was ominous at best for his syndrome and she needed to prevent him needing more of her expertise later on. Or, at least, that was what she had told herself on the way here. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. When would she stop using him to fool herself?

The doctor eventually caught sight of the Commander, who was amusing the rest of the squad with his rendition of dancing. Karin's cheeks reddened at the roar of applause she received when she stepped into the booth where everyone was lounging. Glad for the dim lighting, she smiled at Garrus who had squeezed her shoulder and gave her a wink as he made room for her to sit down. She swiftly plonked herself down between him and Kelly.

Chatter resumed, strained in order to carry over the music. To her left, Kelly shifted to whisper in the ear of a very awkward looking Liara. A stray hand openly stroked up the inside of the asari's knee, which brought a shine of delight to Joker's face as he watched them from the corner of his eye. Thane noticed her watching the pilot, giving a small smile when he caught Karin looking over. His chest was shuddering. Biting her lower lip, she had to force herself back into the couch. Peace was the only medicine the drell craved and she was resigned to giving him his wish.

_What good it would do him being here_ she thought to herself as she coerced herself to look away. Running the tip of her finger around the glass Garrus had pushed into her hand, she laid her gaze upon one of the dancers.

Perspiration glistened over their back, long and slender legs wrapped quite expertly around a pole, teasing the edges of an outfit that blended into the soft blue skin. Karin had to toss back her drink before it slipped from her grasp. That body, cutting through the lashing ribbons of music draping the air, stood out proudly from the layers of heat of noise. The salty tang almost mingled with the foul aftertaste of that shot. Mesmerising.

"See something you like..._ doc?_" the low purr jolted Karin. She tore her gaze from the dancer, albeit reluctantly and lifted her head up. Jack was smirking at her, crouching over so she could lean in closer. There was something present in her voice, lingering heavily under the violence and alcohol, that made her take in a deeper breath.

"Jack, sit down." Garrus went to grasp hold of her arm, which the convict deftly avoided while snatching his drink away with her other arm and downing it in one "Don't you think you've had enough?"

Even the turian couldn't fail to be silenced by the black look she shot at him. Karin scooted back as far as she could on the seat, flexing her fingers out to stop them trembling. This made Jack smile, one that didn't quite meet her eyes, which were instead filled with something more evasive.

"I don't think the doctor has had enough, though." Jack glanced over to the asari dancers, grin even more crooked when two of them were now grinding together, something Karin couldn't look away from "Obviously hasn't had _any_for a while."

In a flash, Jack pounced, firm thighs straddling her lap as her arms supported her either side of the doctor's head. The woman was light, not being a burden as she shifted her weight, sweat sparking across her chest as she leant in. Hot breaths brushed her ear and she had to swallow to rid herself of an emotion that was most unwanted.

"How 'bout it?" something wet touched the lobe of her ear, forcing a whimper from her before she could contain it. Karin couldn't react, couldn't move, as her vision narrowed on Jack drawing back and teasing her own top lip with her tongue.

Then Shepard was there, grabbing hold of her shoulder and yanking her off. Relief neglected to surface, turning her nerves into something reminiscent of disappointment. Yet again she had to shove down unwanted emotions, running her hand up to brush over the shell of her ear, tucking a wisp of hair behind it as Jack hurled a barb of curses. Spitting in disgust, she turned back to Karin.

"No?" She flung out her arm towards the frisky dancers "Prefer something a little more... _blue_?"

"That's enough!" Shepard stepped forward with menace, although leaving his hand resting on the small of Miranda's back. The biotic saw, and simply looked amused.

"What's the big fucking deal?" all humour vanished, her fists clenched out to her sides, and music seeped away, claiming voices with it, as the group ceasing talking "All anybody ever wants, _Commander_, is a fuck!"

The biotic finally tore her piercing gaze from Karin, whipping round to face Shepard. As the booth became the eye of the hurricane, all noise ripped from the area, Jack stretched out a finger and prodded him in the middle of his chest. Curling a bitter grin at Miranda, she dragged it downwards.

"Even you."

Karin lost all focus, bodies becoming blurred. Miranda had lunged for the crazed convict, who attacked just as readily. But it was her revelation that had stung, the confusion at the wound driving in deeper the sense of drowning. A sense the Commander seemed to share, his face pace and hurt when the Cerberus officer shoved him away from her.

"What the hell is she on about, Mason?"

"Mason! Ha!" Jack was the picture of smug; a cat who had won the cream that they never really wanted "We fucked, Cheerleader. Want details?"

It was too much. Karin struggled for breath, her stomach reeling queerly. She covered her eyes with her hands, cradling her head, as the music bursting back to fullness as she shut everything else out. Thoughts tried to cram into her head and she longed for the familiar embrace of her brandy. No escape was visible at the current moment, however.

"But that's all anyone ever fucking wants me for. S'all anybody ever wants." The glazed look in Jack's eyes suggested she was talking out loud more than anything else "Just to fuck."

With a few more curses that made even Zaeed wince, the biotic stormed off, snatching up a bottle of something no doubt incredibly alcoholic before anyone could stop her. Fractured conversation started up again, awkward glances scoping round the booth to aim at their leader and a furious Miranda. Shepard stood there, mute, as she gave her all.

Karin took nothing in, though. Her exit was now clear and she leapt at the chance. Shuffling past the couple, she heard the loud crack as Shepard was caught around the face with a huge slap. He took it with as much dignity as possible, accepting the drink that Garrus pressed into his hand as Miranda fumed past her. With everything becoming all too much, Karin decided the call of her cot was just too strong to ignore.

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**Any feedback/suggestions will be devoured and treasured. I'm hungry.**

**~ Georgia.**


	3. Heroics

**An update? Gasp! Most likely filled with mistakes, my bad.**

**Warnings ahead for 'suggestive themes and Jack's mouth. So yeah... read on, my good people!**

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_Rising and falling, her chest shuddered as she lay back, the coolness of the bed sending a cold jolt up an exposed back and making her exhale sharply. Karin's lips were dry. Her eyes reluctantly moved away to touch the back of her fingers to her forehead. She wet her lips, Jack's eyes following as she leant further over. The medbay was cool compared to the warmth emanating between the two of them. Damn, she needed to focus. No injuries visible so far._

_Fingers pressed on her thigh and the eyes of the convict under her swam with mischief. She had to close her own eyes to focus herself and do her best to ignore the touch racking waves through her limbs. Resuming her work, she ran her gaze down the biotic's front, allowing it to trickle down the valley between her virtually exposed breasts. Muscles tensed as Karin splayed her hand over her stomach, scattering the tattoos underneath into life._

_"Karin…" Jack removed her fingers, the throbbing that had been intensely building now distant. A frown settled on her lips, even as she tried to smother it with her most professional veneer. She tried to hide the disappointment by scrutinising the scars she had treated months ago. They'd healed well enough and-_

_Her body crackled in a rush as her hair was brushed away and a hand pressed firmly around the nape of her neck. Karin dared look up, dared to search orbs now stimulated with something darker than mere biotics. They sucked her in, drew her that close she could feel Jack's deep breathes rippling over her flushed cheek._

_She failed to catch the gasp that fell from her, unbidden. All pretence of control vanished and her hand freely slid down further. Meeting the band of the loose trousers, she swallowed down her nerves and slipped the tips underneath. Jack's smirk set her to trembling. Especially as she turned her head to Karin's ear, pursing her lips next to it to speak._

"Doctor!" a robotic shout rappelled around the room and struck her free from the daydream, her bones creaking when she snapped up straight in her chair. Smoothing strands of hair back, Karin turned just so she could see EDI's flickering self only in the corner of her eye. Her mind still contained the dregs of sleep, stubborn ones that refused to relinquish their hold. Jack's nails grazed lazily down her neck.

"Yes, EDI?" the words came out as a heavy growl, her mouth dry. Karin licked her lips, pressing her fingers to her temples before straightening the clutter on her desk in an effort to appear more composed than she did on the inside.

"I have been attempting to get your attention for some time. Are you alright?" Blinking away the feel of Jack's palm on her skin, she nodded. It was all just a dream. She'd come undone, just by a goddamn dream. The flush of embarrassment blossomed under the alluring ache managing to creep back into her system.

"I'm fine, thank you." She regretted how clipped and clinical her voice sounded, but Karin couldn't help but be pleased at regaining most of her usual exterior "What did you want?"

"Shepard just got in contact: The squad will be returning soon. I thought you would appreciate being informed." Swivelling around in her chair, Karin simply nodded, now knowing by the dulling of her interface that EDI had focused her attention elsewhere. Adrenaline simmered within her bones, stirring up restlessness, as she stretched and got to her feet. It made her feel slightly better but a flutter in the pit of her stomach tried to lured her back to earlier thought. Instead, she decided to do yet another inventory check.

Chewing on her top lip failed to keep a rein on her thoughts, her eyes automatically surveying the room for where she should start. She was reluctant to admit the encroaching cloud of anxiety. For the last few weeks it had lingered over the entire crew. Word of the incident at Afterlife had spread so quickly, it beat the voracity of the plague they had stopped previously on Omega. Less noticeably, though. No one had voiced their opinion on the matter too loudly. Between Miranda's livid scowl and the emotionless yet threatening void that was Shepard's usual visage, no one had been eager to tip the balance.

Since the initial outburst, no more shouting no occurred. Between missions, they had secluded themselves in Miranda's office and talked. Shepard had confided that much to her as she patched up a wound on his thigh, sustained when he had saved a civilian from a stray shot by an Eclipse mercenary. A few of the bolder Cerberus crew members had adopted crude grins after his visits but a cool glance had ripped them straight off. Although she assumed, from his smile, no more talking had been required.

Karin used her omni-tool note down some more supplies that could be topped up and sent a message to Mordin, asking him if he required anything for his latest upgrade. The salarian made her head hurt but she couldn't deny his crazed genius. That settled, she moved on to an inspection of the beds. Glancing at the one closest to her, an image of a certain biotic, her back curved in an arch of pleasure, injected itself into her mind.

She had to lead herself away from the tantalising snippet, focusing on more mundane musings. Jack had made herself more invisible, if that was even possible. Karin would have thought she'd taken to Kasumi's habit of creeping around the ship whilst cloaked, but that scared the hell out of her. Merely sticking to her cubby hole, the convict had not undertaken any of the rare excursions to the mess area that she'd undertaken previously.

Until today, Shepard hadn't chosen her to come along on any missions since Afterlife. Then to the amazement of them all, he had given the order for both Jack and Miranda to accompany him onto the Citadel. Joker had relayed this to her immediately after their departure. She had made him repeat that and he did, adding a rather distasteful comment about catfights. Not bothering to reprimand him this time, Karin had instead sat down to finish some reports. It failed at quelling the feeling that something was going to happen. A feeling she couldn't shake.

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"Fuck, Shepard! I can walk by myself!" Karin's first indicator she had been right were these words echoing from just outside the door. Rising fluidly from her chair, she smoothed herself smooth a split second before Jack stammered through the door. She cursed herself for the vain action as she watched the woman stagger into the room as she wrenched away from the Commander.

"What happened?" easily slipping into auto pilot with relief, Karin quirked a brow as she pointed towards the bed closest to her.

"I came here for the sparkling conversation." Jack sniped back at her, teeth clenched tight, and perched on the indicated bed. The problem was evident. Blood oozed between the biotic's fingers, which were concealing a big, blackened wound on her shoulder "Just patch me up and let me go."

"You'll do exactly what Doctor Chakwas says. No more disobeying orders!" Shepard took a step closer, almost raising a finger to point in her face before thinking better of it. Jack grunted a laugh, shoving her chin in the direction of the door and dropped her hands into fists in her lap. Miranda stood on the threshold, body tense, that flawless face betraying a flash of conflict.

"Your precious little fuckbuddy there would probably be dead by now if I had obeyed your stupid orders." A tut of disgust then she turned round to face Karin. Having swiftly retrieved the required equipment, she had now positioned herself behind Jack to closely inspect the wound "Just put some more medigel on it and I'll be fine."

Ignoring her completely, she set about treating the wound. Someone had obviously tried to patch it up on the way back. Picking out some shrapnel, Karin's years of practice allowed her senses to heighten while devoting all her attention to the patient. It helped her pick up on the whispered squabble occurring between Shepard and Miranda, along with Jack tapping out a staccato rhythm with her foot on the side of the bed.

"Enlighten me, how did you get shot this time?" managing to keep a bored tone, she cut away some of the blackened skin and rinsed out the rest of the wound. Now the worst was over, her eyes drifted down the small bumps of Jack's spine. The urge to run her fingers down it took her strongly. She coughed to hide it, able to disguise it as clearing her throat to catch the attention of the couple. Both looked at her for a moment before stepping nearer.

"I just saved the Cheerleader's life is all." the woman twitched as she smoothed a special gel over the wound, the only sign of the pain that Karin expected she'd be in "I'm a bloody hero!"

"I suppose that's partly true." Shepard sighed wearily and leant against her desk. Miranda opened her mouth to protest but he stretched out to lightly touch upon the Cerberus officer's leg, turning back in their direction.

"Suppose!?" a spike of fear jabbed at her spine, so Karin made the decision to step back around the bed. Jack's smirk had been stubbed out, her voice dangerous now. The man her glare zoned in on put his hands up in supplication.

"You chucked yourself in the path of a bullet, Jack. That is, after I told you to stay in cover." He uncrossed his arm, pushing away from the desk to stand up straight "So yeah, you're a hero. A stupid one. I need you in this squad."

"So, you'd let the bitch die? And this from a guy who took down Saren and a fucking Reaper!" Jack leapt down from the bed, taking a few steps forward before swaying and gathering up some biotic power "Don't you fucking dare lecture me about being a fucking hero!"

"I think you two had better go." Karin was amazed her voice was higher than a whisper, but years of experience had made her able to silence the most fuming of grunts with little more than a firm look "Jack, sit back down. Now."

The biotic blinked several times. After a few seconds of silence, she strode over to sit in Karin's chair, leaning away so the leather wouldn't touch her wound. Karin pushed down the irritation that sprang up inside and moved to sweep the pair out of her room. Miranda shoved past her, scowl on her face as she wrestled with herself.

"Thank you, Jack." Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder, permitting himself a smile, before gliding his hand down to the small of her back.

"Whatever, Sugartits." Jack swivelled round in the chair, putting her back to them with a smirk. Over her shoulder, Shepard shook his head and steered his lover out of the medbay.

"Asshole." Karin heard the woman mutter under her breath as she went to wash her hands. She was acutely aware of sharp eyes watching her, appraising her. Or maybe that was a fanciful thought.

Allowing a slow breath to deflate her nerves, licking her lower lip to feel it tickle slightly, Karin meet them with a steeled gaze of her own. This seemed to amuse Jack, who cocked her head to the side and smirked. It made her lips fuller than usual. Desperate to break the allure of them, she strode straight to the desk and fumbled with a small drawer. She thanked whoever was listening that she'd purchased more brandy after Afterlife. Just in case, of course.

"You're gonna have a drink instead of patching me up?" the usual mocking inflection trembled, making her pause to look up and consider her next words before pulling out two glasses.

"I have done all that is needed" filling both with a decent amount, she held one out to the frowning Jack "so I doubt you would appreciate me doing more for you. Expect that conversation thing you were so eager about earlier."

Karin kept her tone neutral, fearing that the convict's instant reaction would be to get up and leave at the prospect of actually talking. It was harder to keep the surprise from her face when Jack took the offered drink and nodded, running the tip of a finger around the glass' edge. She sank into the opposite chair. The uncomfortable silence brought along an excuse to take a swift drink, familiar burning tingle hovering in the aftertaste. She licked her lips.

"You drink a lot." Jack raised a brow, leaving doubt to whether that was a question or a statement to break the ice. She failed to think of a response, instead watching the biotic roll her shoulder back with a grimace before draining the entirety of her glass "Tastes like shit, that. I prefer those krogan shots. Helps take all the edge and aches off."

"Not stepping in front of a gun may be a preferable option." not exactly a lightweight, the alcohol was already promising a warmth that she needed to relax. Sinking deeper into the chair, Karin sucked on her lower lip to hold back a grin.

"It felt right at the time. Haven't a fucking clue why." Jack shrugged before a revelation lit up her eyes. She flicked the sly gaze up at her suddenly, the force of it cracking her defences "Was too busy staring at her arse to give a damn."

Karin choked on the swig she was taking, taking down more than she intended to. The biotic laughed. It was fragile, probably from lack of use, but was so genuine it brought a smile to her as she wiped a few droplets from her chin "I don't know what you mean."

"Tsk, don't give me that shit. You're the one that started this talking crap, so spill. Since when have you known you liked women?" her mouth was dry, evidently more brandy was required. Karin found herself torn as she refilled both glasses. Leaving the cap off the bottle, she tipped her head back against the cool leather and closed her eyes.

"I enlisted straight after finishing med school. Earth always seemed too safe for me. I was… lured in by the promise of exotic adventures amongst the stars. It promised the chance to treat rugged soldiers, a chance to cure their wounds as well as their very souls." She used brandy to try wash down the slight bitterness she couldn't contain. Karin got to her feet, starting to pace as she refilled yet again "By the time I released that I wasn't going to find the romance I wanted there, it was too late. I had to stay, had to do my part."

"You could have left." Jack set her glass down firmly and slid it away, flinching as she extended her arm too much. Karin walked around behind her, inspecting how the wound was. The skin was smoothing over, although distorting the ink there somewhat. It was still impressive though. She skimmed her hand over it and enjoyed the heat of it before it dawned on her what she was doing.

"I-I could have. Maybe I could have settled back on Earth, opened a private practice as my parents wanted me to do. I was about to…but I couldn't." Karin bit her lip, a little harder than she meant to. She tried to convince herself it was that which summoned the sting of tears. Things were rushing back too quickly, muffling her whisper "I'd found someone."

"Finally, a fucking answer." she entertained the thought of whacking Jack around the head, even raised her hand, clenching it hard enough to make her knuckles pop. It made the woman wheel around, tilting her head to look up at her. Grabbing a hold of herself was harder now the alcohol was taking a stronger effect. Funny how she couldn't quite remember how the bottle was now half empty.

"I think that's enough story time for one night." Karin made to flop back down in the chair, tossing back the dregs of her last glass.

"You what? But-"

"No buts. You need rest. Your shoulder won't heal while an old woman is sat talking at you." she tried to bury all her weight into the chair, an attempt at stifling the ache of confusion pounding in her chest. Things locked away for the better had unravelled so easily under Jack's watch, things not easily buried. That made it all the painful now they were brimming under the surface.

"Fine." startled by the bark, she cringed when Jack flung herself to her feet. A zap of ice licked down her spine, heightened by the biotic power she lashed absently over her knuckles to flame on her palm. Quashing it out with a tight fist, she stomped off towards the door. Karin couldn't will her stare away. She ran her tongue over the front of her teeth before biting her lower lip. The air grew cold.

"Wait." the croak didn't stop Jack in her tracks, but did make her slow, her head inches away from looking back. It also betrayed the neediness that she hated about herself "Let me walk you back."

"What the fuck?" her head snapped fully round this time, halting her stride just over the threshold. Karin stood, wincing at how her bones protested. A shroud of numbness enveloped her; something that she had derived more pleasure from over the last two years than an asari embracing eternity. After permitting a rude little chuckle, she shuffled over so she was level was Jack and fixed her a stern glare.

"You appear to have this peculiar habit of getting shot, just so we can have these delightful conversations." marching off out of the doorway, she heard Jack jog to catch up with her "Obviously I can't allow you out of my sights."

"Have to say, doc, booze suits you." it could have been her imagination, but the epithet came across as affectionate now. She couldn't detect any sarcasm anyway. All she felt was Jack smacking her back, she hoped playfully, as she stumbled into the elevator, using the rail to help steady herself from the force of it.

They stood opposite each other. Jack was leant back against the wall, arms lazily crossed, and adorned with an ill-concealed leer. Alcohol-induced thoughts tried to coerce her into making a move, there and then, but she swallowed them down. There was nowhere else to look than at her. She met her brash confidence with a brand of her own, staring at her openly. The convict obviously relished in it and took that as a challenge as she shifted.

Jack had unfolded her arms, propping her elbows on the railing. It thrust out her chest, not that she needed to draw any more attention to that particular area. How those red straps managed to contain those… well, they just about managed to do the job. Her jaw dropped as Jack sucked on her lower lip, taunting her by brushing a hand down her stomach, hooking her thumb under the band of her trousers.

Both regret and relief clashed with her as they escaped the elevator, heading towards the lion's den. Taking a fresh breath in, Karin blinked away the thoughts and battled with the tipsiness that was tickling at the base of her skull. She wondered for the first time what she was actually doing here. The thought didn't last long, as a vision of Jack's arse sauntered ahead stole all coherency. A dull pounding beat down to settle in a most unwanted place, foreign stirrings too strong to be pushed back fully.

The ship fell away underneath her, distraction forcing her to miss the last step. Before the yelp could leave her throat, Jack's arms were around her waist to catch her. A wince of pain flitted across the biotic's face before settling into one of confusion, her arms remaining to hold her close nonetheless. Warm breath scattered along her cheek, sending the heat right through her core. Karin tilted her head back to examine the smooth contours of her face up close. She dared to spread her hands over her chest when Jack's hands gripped onto her hips.

"Ahem." The polite clearing of the Commander's throat startled them both, repelling them apart with an air of reluctance. Karin felt a reprimand coming and tried to backtrack into complete sobriety. Even if the man had seen her worse than this, she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and the Alliance doctor in her was mortified. She was more irritated, though, that once more there had been an interruption. Either EDI and Joker were spying or somebody didn't want her to get what she wanted.

"S'up, Shepard?" Jack sounded just as hacked off as she felt, but that was most likely wishful thinking "I'm getting tired of guests."

"Relax. I came to let you know: I've just made a course change. We're heading for Pragia. Be ready." The woman straightened, looking at Shepard with wide and scared eyes. A tremble shook through her, sparks of biotic flashing inside her curled fingers. Without another word, and just a small glance at herself, he left. Karin thought that might be the wisest option for her too. She shuffled for the stairs. That alerted Jack, a tear rolling freely down her face.

"Finally…" the word was barely a murmur getting lost in the rustle of movement that resulted in Karin being corralled against the table. There was no point in denying that the predatory glare in Jack's eyes was terrifying. And arousing. She stifled a moan bullying it's way to the surface, helped along by a firm thigh pressing up between her legs. Summoning every last bit of strength, she pushed the other woman away.

"Don't get shot this time." not wanting to give in, Karin headed straight for the stairs without looking back. She was torn up inside, as though everything she'd manage to hide throughout all her years of active service had come crashing down on top of her. It was too much to handle. As much as she tried he wasn't any sort of war hero, able to flick things off at the flick of a switch. She wasn't Jack.

"Fuck you, then." The words that echoed up to her were hollow. Perfect for how she felt.

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**Any feedback/suggestions will be devoured.**

**~ Georgia.**


	4. Understanding

**Well, this is the end. I can't tell you enough now frustrating this was to write. I wanted to keep Jack as in character as possible, but she's a tricky one. Bitch. Anyways, enjoy. And ignore the, most likely numerous, mistakes that follow.**

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Every bone in her body was smothered in iron, exhaustion cracking down the barriers for it to seep in deeper. Nonetheless, time was hurtling forward. Soon they would smack into the tarrying reality of a conclusion to this suicide mission. Karin struggled to keep her head up, attempting to stay attached to the conversation with Tali and Garrus. Their topic of choice was something to do with the Normandy's engines. It all went over her head but she forced herself to focus. Anything to keep any thoughts of substance from tearing her down a path steep with emotion.

"But the Reaper IFF will be ready soon, right?" Karin felt proud of the quarian, in quite a motherly way. When she had first joined the crew, she was so timid and jittery. Their fight against Saren, along with the aftermath, had forced her to mature much quicker than any other Pilgrimage.

"Both EDI and Shepard seem to think so." Garrus, with his peculiar turian purr, bent his head down an inch closer to Tali. She allowed herself a little smile at the blooming attraction between the couple "Should be ready after we go help Legion."

A thud behind her made them all jump, coming from the usually silent office that Miranda stayed in. They sat still, listening to a series of loud curses and crashes. Garrus started to get to his feet, placing a hand on Tali's shoulder as he did so. He froze when Shepard came into view, stopping only for a moment to nod at them, before marching straight into the room. The man looked livid.

"I wonder what's going on there." Karin turned back round it her seat, mumbling more to herself than anyone.

"No idea." The turian sat back down, stretching an arm out on the back of the Tali's chair with exaggerated casualness "Although… I may have seen Jack creep in there a while ago."

"Oh." Karin sighed, her smile at the cheesiness of Garrus' move disappearing. Keeping her gaze to the empty glass she was passing between her hands. Any thought of the biotic made her head pulse and her stomach lurch. She desperately grabbed for a different topic. Tali, though, had other ideas.

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" the quarian's concern was touching, but unwanted. She set her hand down on top of Karin's. Not for the first time, Karin wished she could see Tali's face. It would make her feel better if she knew exactly where she was looking. The hairs on the back of her neck bristled, making her assumption that she was receiving a penetrating look correct. She shifted back in her chair, folding her arms.

"I'm fine, thank you Tali. Merely a bit tired." Even she could hear the insincerity in her own voice, wincing at it as she turned to glance at the closed doors to her left.

"Maybe you should try to sleep." Tali looked up at Garrus, who made a show of snapping his head away "Make a grab at what you want. We all should, while we still can."

Karin opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a string of foul curses as the door behind her opened. Snapping round to see Jack storming out of the room, lashes of biotics around her clenched fists. Tali's words circled in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut against them, trying to make a decision.

She jumped to her feet, swiftly aided by Tali kicking her under the table. Closing in on Jack, she had to swallow down her fear, muddled in with confusing thoughts rearing their ugly heads. Karin snatched at the woman's fist, flinching at a sting of biotics, and managed to drag her into the med bay. Jack offered no resistance, her face void of any expression. She realised that she didn't know what she was going to do now.

"Umm, I just need to check up on you." the lack of response, either mocking retort or lewd remark, made Karin crease her brow in worry. Choosing to overlook it, she placed her hands on Jack's sides and guided the woman back to sit on one of the beds. She allowed her fingers to trace lightly over the skin more a moment before blinking at the slip and drawing her hands back.

Jack snatched her wrists, snapping her head up to look at her. Karin gasped, trying to pull back but wasn't able to budge the firm grip. She stopped when a ripple of emotion washed over the woman's face, once again seeing the broken being she truly was. It made her heart wrench watching Jack attempt to clasp her armour back on. And failing.

"Doc?" Jack lowered their hands, resting them on her thighs as she looked down at them. She didn't let go but Karin couldn't say she minded.

"Yes?" Karin tried to keep on a professional mask, blank and clinical. The secure feeling of Jack's hands on hers and how she was almost drawn into her legs made it so frustratingly hard though.

"I… Miranda's right, isn't she?" the damaged croak, along with the lack of any hint of violence that usually accompanied any mention of the Cerberus officer's name, made Karin wonder if it was her tears that landed just above her sleeve "That I'm just… just a fucking mistake."

"Jack-"

"I'm still that fucked up little kid, wanting to hide under a table, the only place in her whole fucking world that safe. Still the bitch needing to fight her way through any obstacle because she just can't stop. The loser who pushes away everyone because they'll just fuck her then fuck her over."

"Jack."

"Then you do let someone close, 'cause you can trust just this one time, and they go and get themselves killed. Fucking idiot."

"Jack!" Karin tugged her hands away, exasperated that the biotic chose now to start getting so talkative. Laying a hand on her neck, she leant in to quickly kiss her, stopping her in mid-sentence. It was hard, passionate, with emotions pumping between them and cascading into it. Jack pulled her in closer, tentatively placing her hands on her sides at first but then running them round to rub the tension from her back.

Finally, they both needed to pull away for air, resting their foreheads together. Karin looked up and wiped away a stray tear from Jack's cheek, leaving a kiss there. Jack raised a hand, touching it absently, her face a conflict.

"I understand Jack." Jack scowled, rubbing her eyes furiously with her fists.

"How the fuck do you understand? You don't know me." Karin took her hands in her own, stroking her fingertips over permanently bruised knuckles to relax them.

"I'm a military doctor. I care for each and every one of my patients. But… in the end, they all either leave or, well, die." She squeezed her eyes shut as she blinked back a painful surge of memories clawing their way to swim in the front of her mind "Even the ones you love, though you know you shouldn't."

"Your 'romance amongst the stars'" Karin regretfully pulled away from the biotic and went to sit in her chair, head in her hands.

"Yes. She was a Staff Lieutenant with the Alliance. So… beautiful and commanding, even from the first time I saw her." She looked back up. Jack was silent, beating her fists against her legs for a moment before sliding off the bed and walking over to her as she continued "When I first saw her, her squad had been ambushed by batarians. To put it lightly, she was pretty badly cut up. But she survived."

"And left?" Jack stood behind her chair, folding her arms across the top.

"No, she had to stay in for rehabilitation. As she recovered, we grew close. Intimate. Though we knew that it was against protocol, it didn't matter to us. We had all the time in the world, in the galaxy." Jack walked round to face her, crouching down and just looking at her hands.

"Take it you got caught out?"

"Surprisingly, no. I-I got her killed." Tears finally came to her eyes, unable to restrain them anymore. They racked her entire body as the door on her caged memories flung open, years of anger and pain laughing at her weakness. Jack lifted her arm, making her shy away out of instinct. A look of hurt across her face made Karin regret it, even more so when she simply slid an arm around her shoulders.

"What happened?" Jack looked uncomfortable at the close contact, but Karin leant into her anyway.

"A Corporal , suffering heavily from PTSD, snapped. He thought we were the enemy and tried to escape, with violence. He'd somehow managed to get a knife in there, I don't think anyone bothered to find out why." Karin took a moment to calm down, bracing herself "I stepped in his way. She stepped in the way of his knife."

"I… Why are you telling me this shit?" instead of taking offense, as Jack's face showed she expected, she simply smiled.

"Because I want you to know. I do understand you, Jack. More than you'll except." Karin laid her hand on Jack's cheek, stroking the smooth skin there with her thumb. The woman looked thoughtful, like she was fishing for something to say that would stop this.

"I'll probably get you killed, you know." Jack stared at her with wild eyes, a pleading glaze over them "In fact, I'll most likely end up killing you."

"And? We're on a suicide mission. If we survive that, I'm damn sure I can survive you." Karin leant down to kiss her softly, running her tongue over Jack's lip. The woman pulled away, kneeling closer in between her legs and glancing towards the door. Hands on her thighs distracted her but she still noticed the frown on Jack's face "What's wrong?"

"Was just thinking, doc. If Shepard interrupts this time, I'm going to rip his fucking balls off."

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**Reviews will be treasured.**

**~ Georgia.**


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